Written by a mum whose son Bobby, was diagnosed with Autism 11 years ago.
There are around 700,000 people in the UK with Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC). That equates to 1 in every 100. Luckily awareness of the condition is getting so much better now than when I was studying Psychology at university.
For those who don’t know much about it or who haven’t had contact with someone with the condition, ASC is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how a person communicates, learns and interacts with others.
Generally, the three main areas that people with ASC experience difficulties are:
As ASC is a spectrum condition, each person with this condition will display these characteristics to a greater or lesser extent.
Bobby was diagnosed at the age of 3 years. He struggled to play with other children and preferred to play alone. He found pre-school noisy and over stimulating, and would often stand with his hands over his ears crying, or retreat to a quiet spot with his dinosaurs and sit there until I collected him at lunchtime. He is a twin, so it soon became obvious the differences between the two of them, with his brother being very social and interactive.
At the time my boys were little, indoor soft play was very popular and I can see why parents liked it. The children are in a safe environment where they can play and be very physical, without the fear of them falling and hurting themselves, but this also allows the parents to sit and have a coffee with friends and take a breather from running around after them.
Mummy, Bobby is crying in the tunnel and he won’t let the other children go through
Bobby found these places fun to an extent as he is a physical boy who loves to climb and jump. But he would hate to be next to or touching another child he didn’t know, so with all the children running and chasing and bumping into each other, he couldn’t cope. His brother would come and tell me “Mummy - Bobby is crying in the tunnel and he won’t let the other children go through”. I would then have to climb up the apparatus and squeeze my post-baby stomach through the turnstiles (much to my friend’s amusement), over the obstacles and drag myself to the top of the construction to find him holding court in the tunnel with lots of kids screaming at him. He would be sat in tears and then would struggle to calm down afterwards. This was a regular experience for us and so after several attempts, we just stopped going altogether.
When we moved house, this was a game-changer! Not far from the house was a timber playground. At first I thought it was going to be the same experience as the indoor play places, so for quite some time I would avoid going anywhere near it. But, one day it was a beautiful sunny day and we’d been in the house all morning so we decided to take a picnic and head down in the sunshine. It was quite busy and straight away I started to feel anxious, but I decided to be brave and give it a go and see how he got on, knowing we were only a short walk away from home if things became stressful.
Wow, what a difference! Bobby was climbing and loving the height of the tall towers, peering through the windows and tunnels, whilst waving to me. The fresh air seemed to make a massive difference - he was no longer in a sweaty confined area, with bright primary colours glaring at him and children squeezing next to him. He could climb, swing and throw himself down the zip wire without having to engage with anyone he didn’t want to. He could also decide himself where he wanted to play rather than having to follow the route dictated by the indoor play places. His brother could enjoy it too and didn't have to keep checking he was OK.
I even had a chance to drink the coffee in my flask while it was still hot!
The other great aspect was that the play area was fenced and gated. I could relax a little knowing that neither boy could run off, allowing us to enjoy our mini picnic.
Being out in the fresh air I think is the key to the differences between my two experiences with play areas. Yes, Bobby struggled with being too close with other children at that age and that wouldn’t change until he became older (he’s now 14). But the feeling of being outside and being able to choose where he climbed, how high he wanted to swing, which slide he wanted to go down, enabled him to relax and be the master of his play experience and that made it an enjoyable and fun time for him. The physical element also helped him with his motor skills and interpreting obstacles. He could also take himself off to a corner under the towers and play quietly with his dinosaurs where no-one else could bother him. From then on this was our favourite play area. I can not express how much of a difference to his well-being it was to get outside in the fresh air and run and jump and swing on his own terms.
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